


one thousand miles left for you

by ifearglucose



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-17 16:58:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17564429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifearglucose/pseuds/ifearglucose
Summary: road trip road tripmaybe they fall in love





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry this might be SO BAD 
> 
> i wrote it two summers ago and i figured i would post it
> 
> i don't except much attention since voltron is over but i dont want to keep it rotting in my drafts ;w;
> 
> enjoy<3

“What do you mean, Shiro is gone?” 

Lance’s mouth was open slightly, a bewildered expression on his face. He leaned in from his spot on the couch, his mind trying to process the information Hunk had just thrown at him. Keith let out a small gasp. There were four of them, just four friends who thought they were meeting at Pidge’s house for a break. To relax. Because, frankly, they all fucking needed to. Work was hard, their jobs were hard. They were exhausted. Pidge ran a hand through her short hair.  
“Yeah. Gone. And this is Shiro, we’re talking about. So he must really be out of it.” Keith shifted on the couch, playing with the velcro of his gloves. His mind flickered back to memories of Shiro, happy and caring. A big brother. Shiro was Shiro. He didn't get sad. This must really be bad, for him to just up and leave without any warning or note. “Do we know anything about why he left?” his two friends shook their heads in unison, and Lance exhaled sharply. Keith scowled, and put a fist down on the coffee table. The other three jumped. “Okay then. We’ll just go look for him.” Hunk threw him a sideways glance. “Easy there, cowboy. We don't know where he is yet.”  
Shit.  
He’s right.  
Pidge saw the fire in Keith's eyes dull, and she piped up. “But we will. I can track his phone number. It's been like 48 hours, he couldn’t have gone far.” Lance squinted, a whine escaping his lips. “Unless, of course, he drove for 48 hours straight. I’ve done it. Not fun.” Keith punched him in the shoulder, grumbling. “Not helping, asshole.” Lance almost wanted to take offense, but Keith's eyes were just so sad. Lance knew how much Shiro meant to him, and suddenly, for some reason, he knew Keith was right. They had to go find him.  
So he volunteered.  
“I Mean, I’m the only one with a car, and Shiro is basically my dad at this point, so it seems fair that I go.”   
Hunk sighed, nodding slightly. “Yeah, but, shouldn’t Keith go? You know, since Shiro is his actual brother?” Pidge agreed, her face still in the computer, hacking away at some science protocol that would somehow let them find the brother in question.  
“Yeah, and I’m sure as hell not going. Road trips are really not my thing. I’ll stay back to give directions, and Shiro might come back rather than wait for you losers to find him. Someone has to be there if he does.” Hunk gave her a thumbs up. “Yeah, but shouldn’t Keith go? Still? It makes more sense, Lance.”   
Lance shrugged.  
“He can come with me then.”  
He regretted the words the instant they came out of his mouth. No Lance, he cannot, because you cannot keep this Keith scented garbage inside you for much longer. Bad idea bad idea bad id-  
Pidge let out an over-dramatic gasp. “You? And Keith? In a car alone? For god knows how long? You’ll just kill each other!” Lance offered her a weak grin, knowing he had backed himself into a corner. “Uh… we would um...bonding?” Beside him on the couch, Keith's eyes were contemplative. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke up.   
“Fine.”  
The others were quite startled he had agreed, actually. Keith must have really been determined if he was going to put up with Lance all by himself. The raven haired boy tensed. “Not.. because of Lance.” his eyes betrayed a flicker of panic, and Lance caught it. He stayed quiet, though. “I would literally rather cut an arm off than be alone with him for three days. I’m doing this because I will do whatever it takes to find Shiro.” The others nodded, and Lance stood, offering no backlash for what Keith had said. Neither of them were really in a fighting mood. “I’ll pack the car.”

-0-

Keith set his duffel bag down in the back seat, and huffed. Lance was in the car, AC cranked, with a sort of get ur ass in here look in his eye. Pidge and Hunk waved them off from the porch, Pidge clutching her chest and pretending to wipe tears from her eyes. Hunk held a sign that read ‘try not to murder each other!1!’ it looked as if he had written it in 5 seconds.  
Then they were on the road.

Day one.

It was like 5 o'clock in the evening, and they drove on the highway in silence. Keith gazed out the window, watching the shrubs and dusty mountains go by.  
He barely remembered camping as a child, but he loved the scenery here. Oregon was their home, as idle as it was.  
“Hey. Mister Emo-Music-Video.”  
Keith turned to face him, a scowl painted across his face. He exhaled sharply. “Yes, Lance McClain? What can I do for you at this hour?”  
The boy chuckled, leaning his free arm against the driver’s side window as he spoke. “You wanna stop for Chick Fil A?”  
“Sure. “  
“Cool. i’ll stop once we get back to society.”  
Keith changed the subject. The quiet was starting to make him anxious.  
“So, did Pidge find Shiro’s coordinates?”   
Lance nodded, gestured to the GPS on the dashboard.  
Keith should have seen that.  
“Yeah, right there. Like five states over. God only knows how the fuck he got there.” He saw Keith’s moody demeanor shrink, though.  
The usually-so-emo boy was scared. Scared to lose Shiro. And it hurt Lance to see him like that. Lance watched him turn his attention to the road, staring straight ahead as the sun dipped behind the mountains he knew all too well.   
Lance put a hand on his shoulder, and he felt Keith flinch under his touch. “Hey.” He said, voice gentle. He let his eyes flicker from the road ahead to the boy beside him. “Shiro will be fine. He’s right there on my phone, see? We’ll find him, Keith. I promise.”  
The thought of someone like Lance consoling him let Keith calm down. He managed to give the boy driving a weak smile, and felt like maybe the drive that lay ahead could be tolerable. Lance, however, had other plans.   
“Keith. Keith. Keith.”   
There was a shit eating grin on Lance’s face.  
Oh god.   
“Ithink this ride would be a little more tolerable with music,”  
Keith scowled. “Lance, I swear to fuck, if you play Gasolina, i’m gonna-”  
Lance cackled at that, but he snatched his phone up. “Relax, babe. I’m gonna play something not to choke on Lance’s (sarcastic ?) pet name. There was no fighting energy left in Keith, so the retort Lance was half-expecting never came.  
“Ugh. fine. Just know that these next two minutes will make or break this trip. Choose wisely.”  
Lance’s shit eating grin was back.  
He cranked the car volume and he hit play.

A couple rebel top gun pilots   
Flying with nowhere to be, mhm. 

Lance had a huge, lopsided smile on his face as he sang along.  
Keith recoiled at the volume of the song.  
“Lorde, really? I had you pegged as more of a Shakira kind of guy.”  
Keith was blocking his ears, but he was laughing as he spoke.  
It filled Lance with a weird feeling of something.

Don’t know you super well   
But I think that you might   
Be the same as me,  
behave abnormally 

Lance was shouting the words now, making sure he was off key and too loud because he just wanted to piss Keith off. “Y-you asshole!” He tried to sound mad.  
The raven haired boy tried, oh he tried, to act upset, but the laughter kept bubbling out of him. He tried not to over think the lyrics, though.   
Just a song, Keith.  
This was such a Lance thing to do, and Keith was bracing himself on the dashboard, trying to yell at Lance through his laughter.  
Lance really liked Keith’s laugh.  
He sang louder.

So lets let things come out of the woodwork  
I'll give you my best side   
Tell you all my best lies, yeah  
Awesome right?

In time with the start of the chorus, Lance switched from annoying-Keith singing to real, genuine singing. 

Our rules, our dreams, we’re blind  
Blow shit up with homemade  
D-d-d-dynamite  
Our friends, our drinks, we get inspired  
Blow shit up with homemade   
D-d-d-dynamite

Fuck. lance could sing. Of course Lance could sing. And of course he was good at it.

-0-

 

They forgot about Chick-Fil-A.

The sun had set, and Keith was leaned up against the window. His eyelids fluttered and his mind screamed for him to sleep, but he was determined to stay awake. If Lance was anything like Keith, driving alone in the quiet would be no fun for him. Lance seemed to sense his hesitation to close his eyes, because his arm reached back into the car. It emerged with a soft blanket. The dark highway was empty, so Lance pulled over for a moment. Wrapping the blanket around Keith and patting him on the shoulder, he smiled. “Its fine. You need rest.” Lance’s voice was warm and gentle.  
And Lance was trying to pretend like this was just something anyone would do for a friend.  
Friend.  
The word felt weird in Lance’s head.  
But that’s what they were, right?  
So what felt so wrong about it?

Normally, Keith would have been offended that he was being treated like a child, and bickering would inevitably ensue. But Keith was far too tired to even reply. In fact, he could barely remember the last time he had gotten more than three hours of sleep. He felt the car start to drive again, and was lulled asleep my the movement and by Lance, humming and smiling to himself as he drove.   
It was nice, actually. Maybe Keith could get used to this.


	2. open up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i told myself i would pace myself with uploding chapters but NAH
> 
> im sorry this sucks aaaa

-0-  
Day two.  
They were in another state when Keith woke up. There was fog on the car windows, and the sun wasn’t even up yet. Just a soft sky, slowly but surely getting brighter. Lance was still driving, and greeted Keith with a smile. “Morning, babe! Hope you slept well.” He said it so casually, as if the mass of his words weren’t swallowing Keith’s insides at this very moment. Keith struggled to breathe correctly. “Hi. yeah. I Slept alright.”  
That was a lie. That night sleep had been one of the best that Keith could remember. He assured himself it had nothing to do with the fact that Lance was next to him all night. No. Nothing at all.  
This made no sense. Weren’t they supposed to be rivals? Keith couldn’t deny that this kind-Lance was better than the usual-Lance, one who just wanted to make Keith mad. But this was just an adventure-high, right? They would find Shiro, and then they could come back home, Lance would go back to hating Keith, and everything would be normal again. But.. what if Keith didn’t want that? God, what did Keith want? 

Now wasn’t the time for that. They had to find Shiro. Shiro needed them. That was the priority right now.  
Now, if Keith could just not say anything to fuck this up for a couple of days, not make any mistakes that would ruin how Keith and Lance were now, everything would be perfect.  
Lance eyed the GPS what was blipping away on their dashboard. He let out a long breath he didn’t know he had been holding.  
“Hhokay. A while to go. It says, like, 50 hours. That’s what, almost three days? Cool. Yeah, that’s fine.” he was rambling, and he knew he sounded dumb, but he didn’t care. Neither did Keith, apparently, who only nodded and yawned, staring at the empty road ahead of them.  
It was quiet between the two of them, for quite a while, as the fog on the windows cleared and the sun rose, neither of them spoke a word. Until, finally, it was too much for Lance.  
“Tell me something about yourself. Something most people don’t know.”  
This question made Keith’s breath stop short.  
“I- what?” he gaped, somehow incredulous.  
“Well, yeah, I mean we’re gonna be stuck here in this car together for a while and I really don’t know much about you, I mean I know we’re pretty similar but I.. want to know more about you?” he finished, posing it as a question.  
Keith ran the scenario through his head. Yes, opening up to Lance couldn’t actually be that bad, but the last thing he wanted was to slip up and say too much, too soon. His stomach growled, snapping him out of his analytics.  
“If I say yes, I will tell you things about myself, will you buy me breakfast?”  
Lance cursed. Of course he had forgotten to get food for the two of them.  
“You’ve got yourself a deal, babe.”  
“Stop calling me that.”  
“Nah.”  
-0-

It turned into more of a 20 questions sort of deal. Lance asked about his family. Keith explained that, well, he didn’t really have one. Lance had sworn, apologised profusely, saying they didn’t have to keep playing if Lance had upset him. Keith said no, it was fine, he was older now and it didn’t bother him as much, and that they could keep playing if he wanted to..  
They learned a lot about each other. Keith learned that Lance’s favorite food was dulce de leche ice cream, and that his favorite color was blue. He learned that Lance was from Cuba, and that he had a big family back home. He learned that Lance missed them dearly.  
Lance learned that Keith’s favorite food was banana bubble tea. (‘not a food’ argued Lance, ‘It so is’ replied Keith, with an eye roll.) He learned that Keith took boxing lessons for five years when he was younger, and that he hated it. He learned that Keith built a motorcycle when he was 16, and that he lived on it for a good year of his life. Learned how Keith actually dyed his hair silver when he was like 15, and how he regretted it instantly.  
“So.” Keith rested his head against the window. There was a McMuffin in his hand now, Lance sipping away contentedly at an iced coffee.  
“My turn. Why do you call me babe?” he had a smug smirk on his face, and he swore for a moment Lance looked like he was going to spit his iced coffee out. He spluttered for a moment before finally regaining his cocky, Lance-like confidence. “Because, obviously, it’s an endearing pet name that happens to fit you quite well.” It was Keith’s turn to look bewildered, now.  
“Elaborate.”  
“Well, first of all, I See right through your whole emo thing. Not working on me. But yes. Under all your emo, there is a soft kitten who just needs some love and a McMuffin. Oh, and also because your hair is soft.”  
Wait, Lance, you probably shouldn’t have said that.  
No, Lance definitely shouldn’t have said that.  
A blush of color was starting to creep up Keith’s cheeks, and Lance took a long sip of his coffee while he tried to figure out how to follow that sentence up.  
“What I Mean, uh, is that your hair is stupid and annoying and I hate it. But it’s soft. Not that... I’ve been paying close attention to your hair, or anything. Soft. Like a cat. Just an observation. what am i saying?.”  
Smooth as ice, McClain. Nice job.  
He took another sip of his ice coffee.  
He was running out, which meant no more avoiding questions. He did force Keith to play, anyway. This was his idea.  
“Okay, uh, my turn.” Lance thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. 

“You ever kissed someone?” 

-0-

 

Keith almost choked on his McMuffin. 

Lance meant to poise his question innocently, but it did make sense that Keith would react like that. Especially with their weird chemistry they had going on.  
Keith spluttered, his eyes trying to calibrate how to go about answering. “I, uh-”  
He took a deep breath. Please don’t laugh Lance please don’t laugh Lance.  
“No?”  
Lance laughed, but at the other boy’s nervousness, and not the actual answer.  
“Nice. Just curious.”  
Keith’s ribcage felt like it was trying to crawl out of his ass and his mouth at the same time. “Right. Yeah.”  
The drive was quiet for a bit.  
“I Had a really crazy dream recently.”  
Keith looked up. “Ooh, really? Do tell. Let me guess, hot girls?”  
Lance scoffed, pretending to be offended. “Excuse me, rude, that’s not all Ithink about!” he laughed. “I think about hot guys, too.”  
Keith made a gagging noise. “Ew. just ew. Tell me your dream, now.”  
Lance smiled. “Okay, so it was me, just like I Am now. And you, and Hunk and Pidge and Shiro, right? All the same looking and sounding. And we all were at this fancy flight school, except you had gotten kicked out before we got to be pilots, because you punched someone.”  
“Sorry, I whAt?”  
Lance snorted. “Shush shush shush!! Let me finish, Mullet.  
Okay, but Shiro had gotten stuck in space on some mission, and he had escaped space and flown back to the school, and we, or,well, I Rescued him, and then we ran from the government and basically stumbled upon a giant blue robotic cat who Piloted into a wormhole and into deep space. And then you all got robot cats of your own, one representing each of your colors? And then they all joined to form this mega robot and we took down bad guys and stuff. It was wack.”  
Lance left out the part about the two of them kissing fiercely before a battle to the death with some prick named Lotor.  
Keith was laughing really hard. “Dude, Lance, buddy, that sounds like a dream you could only have when you were high. Super cool, but huge robot cats? Space aliens? Wow. some heavy drugs right there.”  
Lance laughed softly. “Yeah, guess it was pretty nuts.”  
Another of their seemingly routine periods of silence set in after that.  
Lance broke it, once again.  
“Hey Keith?”  
“Mm.”  
“D’you, uh, you miss your family, ever?”  
Keith’s breath caught. Why would Lance possibly be asking him that?  
“The fuck kind of question is that, Lance?”  
The other boy seemed at a genuine loss for an explanation.  
“Sorry, sorry, yeah It’s- stupid question. I just- I mean i miss my family all the time, so I was just wonder- I know, sorry. I’ll shut up.”  
He fell quiet. That was a first.  
“Yeah. I Miss my family. Every single day. It’s… it’s pretty shitty.”  
Lance breathed out. What could he say? This boy, this tragically beautiful boy. He had lost almost everyone he loved, really quick. Too fucking quick. And here he was, playing it off like it was nothing. He had gone through so much, only to put on a happy (or as happy as someone like Keith could get) face, and pretend like he was fine. And from experience, Lance knew doing that was something that was really fucking hard to pull off. So really, what could he say?  
He took a breath.  
His voice broke.  
“I’m so sorry.”  
How cliche.  
“No. Lance. Its okay, really. I miss them, of course I do, but i’m not alone. I have Shiro, and I have you guys. It’s okay.” Lance laughed, a quiet, nervous laugh. “You want another pity McMuffin?” Keith scoffed. “Hell yeah I do, you owe me. I almost choked on the first one.” This time, Lance let out a real, warm and genuine laugh. “Okay, okay, i’ll stop for one. I guess I owe ya, babe.”  
“How long am I gonna have to put up with this nickname?”  
Lance let out a hum, his eyes trained on the road. “Hmm.. the whole trip.”  
Keith let out a whine. “Oh fuck you, Lance.” but there was laughter in his eyes.  
“Yeah yeah, fuck you too, I’ll be getting you a McMuffin now.”  
“You better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> peep that dream owo
> 
> also what was i thinking with the 50 hours thing?? younger me just could not seem to grasp distance apparently 🤮


	3. sticks and stones and saying too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith loves the rain 😫

The sun was high in the sky now, and the terrain had turned into one of pine trees, rather than the dust and plain. The rolling hills, all covered in a blanket of dark green, were quite comforting. There were clouds ahead of them, soon to envelop the sun, but Keith didn’t mind.  
He loved the rain.  
The GPS said they would reach Montana soon. Keith announced this aloud.  
“Ooh, Montana! Sounds fun.”  
Keith nodded, and then remembered the one single fact he knew about Montana, from like middle school History class. Man, he had forgotten about middle school. Yikes.  
“Bears.”  
Lance threw him a confused look. “Uh, what about em?”  
“Oh, uh, Montana has a lot of bears. It’s known for them, actually. They’re really dangerous out here.”  
“How smart of you to point out. Thanks, Mr. Emo Tour Guide.” Lance grinned, probably not taking that knowledge seriously at all. He had the look of goofy contemplation, like he was trying to come up with a plan for a scenario that would never play out.  
“Well, we’re in a car, and it’s the middle of the day, so I doubt we’re gonna have to worry about bears anytime soon-”

As if on cue, about 100 feet ahead of the car, a grizzly bear ran into the road.

Lance slammed on the brakes, suddenly more thankful than he had ever been that they were the only ones on the road. Keith shrieked and reflexively grabbed Lance’s forearm. They were both panting, and Lance actually had the audacity to laugh, completely aware of the irony of the situation.  
The bear took its time, clearly not giving a shit about the two hyperventilating boys in a Subaru like 50 feet away from it. He eventually just plodded off the road and into the woods. They both muttered a “fUck.” before regaining composure.  
Keith struggled to breathe properly, and for once, Lance was right there with him.   
“I bet that thing wouldn’t have come out there if you hadn’t said anything.” Lance huffed, too shaken to give an actual retort. “You assume..” huff. “That I can control..” huff. “Nature? That’s almost a compliment, babe.”  
Keith was pretty sure his heart wasn’t just shitting itself from adrenaline this time.  
“Yeah, no, I assume you’re an idiot.” Lance smirked, taking a sip from his water bottle and pointing lazily back at Keith. “Takes one to know one, Mullet.”  
Keith groaned. “Seriously? Mullet? First babe and now this? What’s next?”  
Lance’s mind clicked, and he had to take another sip of water to prevent the word from escaping his mouth.  
No, Lance, you cannot say boyfriend. It’s much too soon for that. It will always be too soon for that.  
So Lance chose something else.  
“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” He winked.  
Keith’s heart felt like it was trying to shotgun him in the lungs.  
How much more of this could he take?  
His brain pulled him away from that train of thought.  
Shiro. You need to find Shiro. Shiro needs you. Mind out of the gutter, Kogane. Come on.  
So Keith tried. Because he knew his brain was right. His heart ached, and he braced himself against the window. Shiro. This man meant so much to Keith. He had practically raised him. Keith winced. He had raised him, actually, after the-  
No. Not now. We are not doing this right now.  
Lance saw Keith’s face fall, and he watched the other boy lean up against the car window. Fearing it was because of him, Lance pulled his eyes back to the road. He didn’t want to have to look at Keith when he was this sad. It hurt. “Hey..” his voice came out a lot less chill and a lot more scared than he meant for it to. “I’m sorry. I Won't call you babe anymore, if it upsets you. I’m sorry.” Keith turned to him then, expression more vulnerable than Lance had ever seen it.   
Oh.  
His beautiful, usually so bright indigo eyes.  
They looked so sad.  
Keith looked broken. So so broken.  
But he opened his mouth, and he spoke anyway.   
“No. no, it’s okay. I Don't mind the nicknames, really. I Wasn't thinking about that.” he gulped, turning back to the road ahead.   
“I Was thinking about Shiro.”  
-0-

It was Lance’s turn to look sad, now.

“Oh.”   
That was all he could muster.  
Keith wasn’t finished, though. He figured he should at least open up to Lance a little.  
“He’s my brother, Lance. He’s been with me through everything. And he never does this. I Wonder if he’ll ever come back, Lance, what if-”  
He could feel a sob building in his throat, tears pricking at his eyes.  
Oh fuck no, you are not crying in front of Lance.  
Lance heard the sob, too. He almost swerved off the road, right then and there.  
And then Lance took the words from right out of his brain.  
“Oh fuck no, Keith. You are not crying right now. I Cannot handle seeing you cry right now, I Swear to god.”  
So Keith calmed himself down, his thoughts melting from a wildfire to more of a foggy, murky lake. A lake filled with Shiro, a lake filled with Lance.  
Lance spoke up, again.   
“One of these days, you’re gonna have to actually open up to me, babe.”  
That name again.  
He held a hand up in defense, though, his other still gripping the steering wheel.  
“I Don't mean right now. Whenever you’re ready, obviously. Ijust don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me, you know?”  
Keith nodded. He wasn’t really sure what to say to that.  
Lance was being so kind to him.  
But he knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t last.  
All of this, all of it. It would be gone soon. Dissolved, the moment Shiro would step into the car. The moment they got home. He knew Lance didn’t mean anything at all by this weird, flirty, I-care-about-you act. And it hurt Keith so much.  
Because Keith realized it then. He really did like Lance.  
Too, too much for his own good.  
God, that boy was going to be the death of him.  
It started to rain then, the clouds from before finally rolling in.   
Keith scoffed, because god, it was so cinematic.  
The car was quiet again after that.

-0-

 

Turns out, the rain was more of a thunderstorm.

The rain pounded against the car windows, and the sudden chill of the air infiltrated the car. Lance shivered next to him, and clenched his fist. The sun was almost gone, barely any light as it faded behind the stormcloud. Thunder rumbled in the distance.  
Keith wondered if there was a hotel around.  
Then he remembered they were still in the middle of Montana, and it was just mountains. Just trees. Seriously, they hadn’t seen anyone besides each other since The Dunkin Donuts cashier back in Oregon. There was a divot off the road ahead, tucked away between the dark pine trees. Keith looked over at Lance, and remembered he had spent last night driving. The boy was exhausted.  
Thunder cracked, so loud that both of then jumped in their seats.   
“Hey Keith?”  
Lance’s voice was weak, tired and slightly afraid.  
Keith decided against mocking him for it.  
“Can we maybe just stop and sleep in the car? I Don't want to drive in the storm, it’s dangerous.”  
Keith nodded, and pulled to a stop off of the side of the road.  
Lance unbuckled.  
“Where are you going?” it came out a little more concerned than Keith intended it to.  
“Awe, scared to lose me, babe?” Lance chuckled. “Just gonna sleep in the back seat. More comfy.” something in Keith’s gaze must have betrayed him after the ‘scared to lose me?’ because Lance’s voice went soft. He must have thought of Shiro. His family. “Hey. Keith. I’m not going anywhere.” he smiled weakly. “You’re not gonna lose me. Promise.”   
And with that, he grabbed a pillow and the blanket from the front, and closed his eyes.

-0-

Keith had trouble sleeping. The car was dark, the raindrops splattering against the windows. Thunder rumbled, and the odd lightning flash or two was the only thing illuminating the world. Keith tried not to think about the bears. His arm was resting on the dashboard ; he let out a sigh.  
He heard Lance mumble something from the back, then a hand was on his shoulder.  
“Keith.” his voice was muddled and drowsy.  
It was super cute, too.  
Keith turned to look at Lance, and he smiled a little. Lance’s hair was fluffed up and framing his tired face. He was holding a pillow with his other arm.  
Keith had to fight the urge to lean back around and kiss him.  
Not now, Kogane. Not now.  
“You wanna.. Come back here..” he was still half asleep, Keith guessed. Why else would he be asking? Keith felt his heartbeat stutter.   
“Enough.. Blanket for.. Two.” he lazily gestured to the backseat.  
Keith’s lungs were on fire.  
“O-okay. Yeah.”   
He clambered to the back of the car, and lance positioned himself back against the left side window, Keith on the right. They were opposite each other, and their feet could have been touching, but Keith had his legs tight against his chest, trying desperately to calm himself down and sleep. There was a quiet hum from the rain outside, and Keith took his boots off, closed his eyes, let his legs drift away from his chest. And then, in one fluid motion, Lance’s back lifted off from the opposite window, and he sleepily fell forward.   
Riiight onto Keith’s chest.  
Caramel colored arms snaked around his waist, and Lance rested his head against Keith’s cold neck.

That was it. Keith was going to die.

His entire body was on fire, his lungs probably wondering why they needed to work so hard at the moment. He knew his face was flushing, and he was so glad Lance was sleeping and that it was dark, because he did not want the boy in his arms to see his face right now. Lance moved a little further into Keith’s arms, and Keith’s lungs were gonna give out. He knew it. He was going to die.  
He closed his eyes, trying to just listen to the rain and his own heartbeat and not Lance sleeping on top of him shit shit shit. Lance looked up for a moment, eyes barely open, and moved a hand up to Keith’s cheek. “Get.. some rest… babe?” It was a question, and the spot where Lance’s fingertips gently rested on Keith’s cheek was on fire.  
He exhaled, a shaky breath.  
“Yeah. yeah. Okay, Lovely, okay.”

Did Keith really just call him that?

Lance didn’t seem to hear.  
Keith felt so safe with him here, just the two of them in the own peaceful world.. He let out a pained breath.  
Keith wrapped his arms around Lance and closed his eyes, trying to get his heart to settle down. Lance was so warm, a stark contrast to the usually so cold Keith.  
Was it selfish of him to enjoy what was happening right now? Maybe.   
He closed his eyes, and the thunderstorm and the dark swallowed them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of this fic is worth it i PROMISE
> 
> also, thank you for the support!!! i was not expecting that ;w;


	4. please don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I CANT WRITE CONFLICT IM SO SORRY
> 
> what was i thinKING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear this gets better pls forgive me

Day three. 

Lance woke to find himself wrapped in a blanket.  
With his arms around Keith Kogane.

Fuck. 

Keith was still sleeping, a rather peaceful look on his face. Dark hair framing pale skin, a rosy blush blotted on his nose and cheeks. His lips looked soft, but Lance promised himself he wouldn’t kiss them. 

Quiet breath left Lance’s forehead warm, and he smiled.  
Keith Kogane was a sight for sore eyes.  
He was drop dead gorgeous as well.

There was moisture on the windows, preventing Lance from getting a good look outside. He guessed it was probably like 6 am.  
He realized then, for real, that his arms were wrapped around someone who probably hated him.  
He let go.  
It hurt, but he did.  
Arms left Keith’s waist gently, and he climbed back up to the front seat.

He decided it would be best if he waited to start the drive until Keith woke up, because the last thing Lance wanted was a duffel bag falling on him while he slept.  
He rested his head against the window.  
What was he going to do?  
Why did he have to wake up the way he did? Sure, it was amazing, but he knew the rest of the trip would be awkward. His gut told him he had to talk to Keith eventually, but he didn’t want to upset him. The boy had so much to deal with already.  
He didn’t have more time to dwell on it, though, because a groggy “mmph” sounded from the back.  
Lance put on a happy face.

-0-

Lance wasn’t there when Keith woke up. Immediately, he feared that waking up with Keith ha scared him off, and he sat up groggily. “Mmph.” was all he could muster, rubbing his eyes.  
Boy, was he relieved to hear such a familiar voice.  
“Morning sleepyhead.”  
Lance was in the driver’s seat, offering him a weak smile. Keith clambered into the front seat.  
Lance turned the car on, and off they went.  
The drive was silent, a slight blush painted on the cheeks of both boys.  
Neither wanted to speak, but both knew what they should be discussing.  
Keith had to say it.  
“Lance?”  
Lance eyed him, but kept his head turned towards the road.  
Keith convinced himself it was for safety reasons.  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you, uh,” how does he phrase this?  
“Did you fall asleep your arms around me on purpose? Like was that intentional?” It hurt to say.  
Lance knew this question was coming, obviously.  
“Well, uh, I was really tired and probably not even awake so I don’t really remember.” he looked over.  
Keith looked hurt.  
As if he wanted it to be intentional  
Hah. fat chance, McClain.  
His voice dropped to a gentle tone. “Sorry if it, uh, made you uncomfortable.”  
Keith wouldn’t look at him now.  
“‘Sfine.”  
God, Lance wishes he could just hold Keith’s hand and tell him he was really, truly sorry.  
But no. He had hurt him enough.

-0-

Keith isn’t sure who started it.

They crossed a couple states. It was tolerable. Then it all went to shit in Nebraska. One moment, it was fine, and then the arguing started.  
Something dumb, at first. But Lance had a way of getting under Keith’s skin.  
“God, I Wish I Had stayed back with Pidge. Why’re you being such an asshole?”  
“Gee Keith, I Don't know? Why’d your brother run off?”  
“Jesus christ, Lance, he’s like 25! He’s not my responsibility!”  
“We wouldn’t be in this fucking mess if you’d have checked in with him sooner.”  
Keith really didn’t want to cry right now. But apparently this was the truth. He knew their pining shit would wear off, he saw this coming. He hated it, though. So, so much.  
“Oh, so this is my fault?”  
“Yeah, its your fault! He’s your brother!”  
They were shouting now, but all Keith wanted to do was fall into a hole and be buried. His chest felt like it was burning, his legs weak.  
He knew where this conversation was going.  
“He’s the only family I Have, Lance! We need to find him!”  
“Yeah, well I’d love to be with my family right now!”  
“ME TOO, JACKASS!”  
Keith’s breath hitched  
. Lance, no, please don’t say it. you would never sa-  
“Well AT LEAST I HAVE A FAMILY!”

There. He said it. 

So that’s how he felt.

Keith was shaking.

“Pull over.”

Lance looked at him, incredulous. “What are-”

“LANCE, PULL THE FUCKING CAR OVER.”

Keith was gone before the car had even stopped moving.

Running through the field. Too fast.

Lance wants to know what it feels like to lose? Fine. he can lose me.

 

The sun was setting.

-0-

Keith was running. 

Why was Keith running? There was nowhere for him to go. He didn’t even know what state they were in.  
His legs were moving anyway.  
There were some pine trees, at the end of the field. Next thing Keith knew, he was slumped in the cool shade, against one of the trees, the dying sunlight sifting through the pine needles.  
As far away from Lance as he could get.  
He held his knees close to his chest and he cried.  
His chest heaved with the effort, lungs burning, and he let himself cry. He could not let himself get back in that car. Maybe he could just stay right here. Eventually he’d fade away, right?  
He was okay with that.  
Keith’s eyes burned, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. god, he felt like a toddler.  
He sat there for so long. Minutes? Hours?  
He thought about what Lance had said, over and over in his head.  
“At least I have a family.”  
It wasn’t that Keith wasn’t used to being made fun of about that, or having the “You’re an orphan!” part of his life shoved in his face. he was practically raised on that sentence. foster families and kids from numerous schools he attended. they all used it. he was used to it.  
It hurt because this was Lance.  
Lance, who had driven out here just to find Shiro. Lance, who had wrapped Keith up in a blanket the first night on the road, like a child. Lance, who talked about his family and his home for hours, and promised Keith that he would take him one day.  
Lance, who was apparently an insensitive asshole.  
Keith wondered if Lance was looking for him; not that he wanted to be found, of course.  
Based on recent events, Keith decided he had probably not bothered to even get out of the car.  
He closed his eyes again, eventually, and he fell asleep as the sun set.

-0-

Lance was getting frantic. he was calling Keith's name, but he doubted he would get an answer, even if Keith heard him.  
But they were almost to Shiro. They couldn’t stop now.  
That, and it was getting dark.  
the sun was down now, a cool blue light settling like a blanket over the field. Lance was pretty sure he saw a deer at point, but he didn’t even bother to stop and get a better look. he needed to find Keith.  
“KEITH?”  
no reply.  
God, he had fucked up.  
like, real bad.  
he hadn’t even registered that he was saying anything so harsh. he hadn’t even been thinking. Keith just had this way of getting under his skin, pushing all his buttons. Lance had just been keen on getting Keith to stop talking.  
damnit, Lance, you could have just kissed him.  
but he couldn't now.  
not ever.  
not anymore.  
Lance trudged through the tall grass, pondering whether or not Keith would forgive him. he didn't deserve to be forgiven. but he couldn't stand of the drive without Keith there by his side. for that matter, he couldn't stand anything without Keith.  
god, he was stupid.  
Lance found himself at the edge of the field, staring up at the line of tall pine trees. The needles and pine cones crunched under his boots, and he let out one more feeble attempt.  
“Keith?”  
silence.  
Lance’s voice broke. he was exhausted, and just wanted Keith back.  
“please.. you don't have to talk to me. I know I fucked up, and I don't expect to be forgiven. but i’m not leaving you behind. Shiro needs you too.” his voice was shaking, now.  
“I know I said some awful things, but please. please know I didn’t mean them. I’m so sorry, Keith. I wasn’t thinking. you don’t have to say anything to me at all, just please, come back to the car. i’m not going any further without you. I can’t-” Lance's knees felt weak. Keith really wasn’t out there, huh? Lance was just alone, talking to the trees. he felt tears prick at his eyes, and he didn't bother telling them to stop. his voice wavered, coming out almost as a whisper.  
“i need you, Keith. Please.”  
silence.  
and then, very quietly, Lance heard a sigh.  
And then Keith was trudging towards him, not making eye contact.  
“Keith, I-”  
Keith looked up at him then.  
his hair was ruffled, jacket dirty.  
there were tear stains on his cheeks, pieces of hair plastered to his face.  
in the little light left, Lance saw the tears were in his eyes, too. brilliant indigo irises, replaced with fog and sadness.  
he walked past Lance, silent.  
Keith left him there, surrounded by pine trees, in the dark.  
Lance pressed his palms to his face, and was surprised to feel tears of his own.  
how could he fix this?


	5. for better or for worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont think i knew what a slow burn was when i wrote this. :)

Keith woke up to talking. someone was about 10 feet from him.  
Lance.  
“-don’t have to say anything to me..”  
“-please just go back to the car..”  
“-need you, Keith. Please.”  
Keith got up.  
Made no eye contact.  
Walked past Lance, out of the woods, through the field.  
Into the car.   
Lance caught up ten minutes later.  
Keith stared out the window, fists clenched.   
the silence was sickening, and Keith wished either of them would say something, anything. But he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth.   
Lance started the car, adjusted the GPS. the sky was dark now, wispy clouds drifting across the sky as the first stars emerged. Keith probably would have admired it, but he was in no mood to do so. So he tried to keep his thoughts from drifting, and he focused on the reason they had even driven here in the first place.  
Shiro.  
He needed Keith. Why? Keith didn’t know. Shiro never just left. He was Takashi Shirogane, after all. He dealt with his problems head on, and comforted others with theirs. So yeah, something was definitely wrong.   
They were almost there, though.  
Just a few more states.

 

Day four.

 

Shiro was in Michigan. They were crossing into Michigan in about 20 minutes.  
Neither of them had said a word to each other since Nebraska. Ten hours. Lance had ordered food in a couple of fast food restaurants, but Keith had never even looked him in the eyes.  
It tore Lance apart, really. The guilt about what he had said was still eating him up inside, gnashing teeth that were keen on destroying him. He couldn’t wait to get back to Oregon, where Pidge and Hunk would ask about the trip, and Lance would smile and lie and tell them “yeah, it was great!” with no comment from Keith. Would they speak to each other ever again? It didn’t matter. Lance just needed to get to Shiro. For Shiro’s sake, and for Keith’s.   
“Lance?”  
God, he missed that voice.  
Lance gripped the steering wheel, not willing to look to his right for fear of upsetting Keith even more.  
Keith’s voice was small. It sounded more like a plead than an accusation.   
“Why did you say it?”  
Lance inhaled sharply and just stared ahead. Why did he say it? To end the fight? To make Keith mad? To defend himself? He had no idea. But he had to give Keith some kind of answer. He owed it to him.   
Lance took the on ramp to the highway and took a deep breath. “Keith. I’m so sorry. You know I didn’t mean to, I just wasn’t thinking. I just wanted the fight to end, my brain thought that was the best way to end it.” He scratched the back of his neck with one hand. “Which it wasn’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Keith, really. Just.. stay in the car please. We don’t have to talk. But we’re almost to Shiro, and he needs you.” The GPS signal blipped, as if on cue. “More than he needs me.”   
Keith was quiet for a long time, a tidal wave of thoughts and emotions rushing through him.   
“I’m sorry I ran away.”  
Lance almost hit the brakes.   
“Are you joking? do you really think I’m mad that you got out of the car? I’m not surprised you got out! you had every right to! This was my fault, Keith, not yours!” He paid no mind to the rising of butterflies in his stomach or the increasing volume of his voice. He needed Keith to know how he felt. It was now or never, after all.   
Keith picked at the velcro on his gloves, and bit his lip.   
“Well, why do you even care so much about whether or not i’m happy?! this whole trip is about Shiro, not me! Why am I a concern of yours?!”   
Lance clenched his fists on the steering wheel and squeezed his eyes shut just for a moment.

It was now or never.

Lance’s voice was barely a whisper.

 

“Because I think I’m in love with you.”

 

Lance stayed looking straight ahead, not bothering to try and take back what he had said. It was over. It was the truth.

“I’m sorry. I know i just keep hurting you. i just really needed to say it. you can go back to hating me if you want, but yeah.”   
he shut his mouth, trying to will away the tears that were sure to come if he were to continue talking.  
then he felt a warm, soft hand on his cheek.   
“hey. look at me.”  
Lance tried to keep his eyes on the road. he let out a weak laugh. “probably not the best idea, since i’m driving.”  
Keith scrunched his face up, like he hadn’t considered that. he kept his hand on Lance’s cheek.   
“pull over, then?”  
Lance felt his face get hot. “mkay.” he stated weakly, and pulled off the road, right next to the woods that lay beyond.   
the car stopped, and Lance finally turned his head to meet Keith’s eyes.  
“Lance.I forgive you. I know you didn’t mean it, and i’m sorry for running off. But do you think you could do me a favor?”   
Lance’s cheeks flared, a dazed and confused expression on his face.  
“What do you-”

“stop talking.”

“I know, but-”

“Shut up, Lance.”

Keith shut him up then, with something that was (in Lance’s opinion) something far better than yelling.

-0-

Keith was telling Lance to stop talking. and then his hand was tugging the front of Lance’s shirt and then holy shit.  
Keith’s lips were on his and then Lance's hands were in Keith's hair and suddenly they were in the backseat and Lance felt like he was floating.  
Lance had never kissed anyone before. The movies definitely got it wrong, though. Keith's lips were warm and soft and his hands were cool against Lance’s skin. It was clear neither of them had much practice, but that was fine because god, it felt so good.  
They pulled apart, finally, because oxygen got to be a problem, and Lance let his hands drift to Keith’s cheek.   
“God, you're gorgeous. Why didn't we do this sooner?”  
Keith closed his eyes and groaned, letting his head rest in the crook of the other boy’s neck.   
“you can't just say things like that.” he whined, grabbing the fabric of Lance's shirt. Lance let out a hum.  
“Yeah, but I did. Deal with it, babe.”  
Keith sighed into Lance’s collarbone and moved to grasp Lance's hands in his own.   
“I missed that.”  
Lance smiled weakly.   
“Yeah. Me too.”  
Keith sat up, planted a soft kiss to Lance's lips.   
“We should probably go get Shiro now.”  
“Yeah. Yep. Let's go.”

 

-0-

Once they crossed into Michigan, the reality of the situation hit them both. What would be waiting for them when they got to Shiro’s location? Would he even be there? Could he have left his phone somewhere and just left? He had done it once already. Keith swallowed the knot of what if in his throat and clenched the steering wheel. Lance seemed to be in the same mood, as the other boy was fidgeting next to him. The blinking dot that indicated Shiro’s position was getting nerve-rackingly close now, as the two boys sped through the hills of Michigan. Pine trees turned to oak, and the dark green of the needles were replaced by the sharp red orange of the turning leaves. crisp cool air flowed through the car, and Keith let out a sigh. They were almost there. the sky was fading, colors bleeding into the clouds as the sun began its descent. eventually the paved road turned to gravel and dirt, causing light laughter from the both of them as they were thrown around by the rocks. they entered a small town, framed by rolling hills.   
Lance stiffened when he realized this was it. Keith put a hand on his knee in reassurance.  
“Hey. it's okay. We’re in this together.” He forced himself to smile, for Lance's sake.  
He pulled into a parking stop in front of a brick building. they had a four minute walk ahead of them. They got out, and he took Lance's hand in his.   
“Lets go.”

-0-

the walk was brisk, and both boys were clearly quite scared. It was dusk now, the only light left came from moth covered streetlights.   
Lance squeezed Keith's hand every now and then, a simple gesture of “It's okay, I’ve got you.” But it all got to be too much for Keith. the worry of Shiro, the uncertainty of if they would even find him, and the doubt of whether or not he was- no. it was too much. Keith's mind was reeling, and he leaned into Lance, who reached out to catch him. Keith felt like he could vomit.   
“...Can't do .. this right now.” He looked up at Lance.  
He was scared. Lance had never really seen Keith scared before. He was the bad boy, lone wolf. Hell, he built a motorcycle and rode it around. The Keith who endured hell with his family, the Keith who lost his family, but stuck it out with a determined look on his face. No, this was a new side of Keith.   
It reminded Lance of how he was when he was younger.  
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” he ran a hand through Keith’s hair in reassurance, a look of fear and concern on his face.  
“Why don't we just.. get a motel room? do this tomorrow? it’s late anyway, it might be easier tomorrow.” Keith nodded instantly, clearly relieved at the alternate option. “Yeah.” he breathed quietly. “Yeah.”

-0-

Luckily enough, there was a motel in this god-forbidden town.

Lance and Keith checked in. after both nearly having a heart attack when asked “one bed or two?”, they had a room. It wasn’t very big, just the sleeping space, an old TV, a small bathroom and a foreboding closet they both swore never to open. Keith instantly jumped in the shower, thankful to finally get clean, and Lance sat on the bed. (they had gotten two, might he add,) He flicked through the unfamiliar and extremely unamusing television channels.   
Lance almost choked on his spit when Keith emerged from the shower, steam and water droplets rolling down his perfect abs???? How??? With a towel wrapped around his waist.  
Lance did the only logical thing his brain could conjure in that moment, which was to promptly throw a pillow at Keith and screech at him to “get dressed you heathen!! You’re going to murder me!”  
Keith had pouted, and told him to get his dirty ass in the shower, and Lance had giddily obliged.  
Once they were clean, they collapsed onto their respective beds, too tired to even bother eating dinner. The clock read 11:43. Keith lazily swiped at the lamp until he hit the switch, and with a click, the room was dark.   
“Night, Lance.”  
“Night, Keith.”  
Keith could hear the smile in the other boy’s voice.

-0-

The clock said 2:03 am when Lance woke up.

He was confused as to why he had awoken in the first place, because he knew how deep of a sleeper he was, but when he sat up he found the answer.  
Keith was laying on his back, the blankets kicked off to his feet. His eyes were shut tight, fists clenched against the sheets, and his hair was matted to his face.  
Lance was out of bed in an instant, kneeling next to Keith and placing a hand on his cheek.  
“Keith, hey, wake up. It’s me, Lance. It’s just a dream, sweetheart, you’re okay.”  
Keith’s eyes relaxed for a moment, the word please barely lifting off of his lips, and then he woke up. He sat up abruptly, taking huge gasping breaths.

He was silent for a moment, eyes unfocused, and then burst into tears. 

Lance’s eyes widened, and he gathered Keith into a hug. He let his fingers run through the boy’s hair as huge sobs racked his body. Keith buried his head into Lance’s neck, his hands clinging to Lance’s t-shirt as if for dear life. Lance shifted to sit on the bed, holding Keith close to him. He squeezed his eyes shut and murmured ‘hey, hey it’s okay’ into the other boy’s shoulder. Eventually Keith’s breathing slowed, and he pulled from Lance’s embrace to look him in the eyes.  
“I’m so sorry, I- that wasn’t- I’m-” Lance cupped keith’s chin in his hands and softly pressed their lips together.  
“Don’t apologize, sweetheart.” he shifted on the bed, sat criss cross from Keith. Lance gave him a soft smile. “Talk to me. I mean, if you want.” he looked slightly embarrassed, and Keith laughed weakly. His expression quickly turned cold, though.  
He looked down, fiddling with the sheets.  
“It.. was about Shiro. I just- I’m so scared to Lose him, Lance. I’m so scared he might already be gone. I-” he broke off, and wiped the tears that clung to his cheeks and eyelashes. Lance reached out and let his hand rest on Keith’s, a sad yet fond expression on his face.  
“I may not know Shiro as well as you, Keith, but if there’s one thing I know for certain it’s that he would never give up. Not on you, not on me, not on himself. A-and I know I may not be great with words or whatever, but I promise that whatever happens in the morning, i’m not going to leave your side. We’re in this together. A-and Keith?” he reached to wipe a stray tear from Keith’s face.

“I love you. I love you so, so, so much, you idiot. And I’m never going to let you forget that.”

It was then that Keith threw himself into Lance’s arms, knocking them both onto the pillows. He wrapped his arms around the taller boy and buried his face into Lance’s chest.  
“Will you.. Stay? Right here?...Please?”  
Lance’s fingers played with a strand of Keith’s hair, and he smiled.

“I wasn’t gonna move regardless.”

Keith couldn’t help but admire the way Lance’s eyes reflected the moonlight, almost like some sort of angel. He watched as those eyes fluttered closed, a peaceful smile settling on Lance’s face.  
Keith pressed his lips to Lance’s, ever so softly, as if he was weary of Lance shattering, or slipping away from him. And then Keith spoke. Softly, as though Lance was the only one in the universe that the words were meant for.

“I love you.”

Lance, in that moment, felt like his and Keith’s lives had somehow intertwined. Lance thanked his lucky stars that he had nonchalantly mentioned for Keith to come on this rescue mission with him. He was the luckiest person in the universe, right now.

He let his forehead touch Keith’s, and they drifted off to sleep, bathed in moonlight, holding one another as if the world itself couldn’t rip them apart. And, alas, it could not.

**Author's Note:**

> this makes sense now but the plot dies fast LOL
> 
> i promise i'll upload a recent fic soon


End file.
